How to Outsmart Your Betsy (a.k.a. Your Primitive Brain)

We’re all out here just trying to be our best selves, right? Crushing our goals, showing up for the people we love, staying hydrated… and yet, somehow, we still find ourselves making decisions that don’t align with our highest potential. Why?

Because lurking inside all of us is the primitive brain—a well-meaning but kind of clueless part of our wiring whose only job is to keep us alive. Not thriving. Not evolving. Just… alive. I call mine Betsy

And while we appreciate that survival instinct (thanks for keeping us from touching hot stoves, Betsy), it can also sabotage our best-laid plans for some truly ridiculous reasons. Like skipping the gym because we might get judged, or doom-scrolling TikTok instead of prepping for that important meeting. Sound familiar?

So how do we work with this uninvited guest? Here are three ways to overcome that primitive voice and stay on track.

1. Talk Back to It

Give that primitive brain a name. Mine is Betsy. And let me tell you—Betsy has opinions. She’ll pop in with, “Umm, do you really want to post that? What if people don’t like it?” or “Maybe we shouldn’t try that new thing—it’s probably not safe.”

When she does, I say, “Really, Betsy? You think that’s the biggest threat in our lives right now? We’re fine. I’ve got this.”

Naming the fear gives you space from it. It puts you back in the driver’s seat.

2. Focus on the Long Game

Your primitive brain is all about right now. Instant comfort. Immediate safety. The problem is, most of the stuff worth doing takes longer than five minutes to pay off.

Want to grow your business? It’s going to feel awkward at first. Want to get healthier? There will be days when ice cream feels like a better idea than cardio.

But when you focus on the long game—and remind yourself of why you’re doing the hard thing—you can often outpace the panic. Just keep your eyes on the prize and power through the noise.

3. Be Kind (Yes, to Yourself)

Here’s the truth: Sometimes, Betsy wins. Sometimes, you’ll skip the workout, binge the snacks, or spiral in your thoughts. That’s life. That’s being human.

The key is not to beat yourself up about it. Just be kind, rewind, and start over.

You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to keep going.

If you only take one thing from this post, let it be this: that loud, anxious voice inside you isn’t you. It’s just Betsy, trying to keep you safe in a world that’s changed a lot since saber-toothed tigers roamed the Earth.

Thank her for her service. And then kindly, confidently… move forward.

You got this.